As the deer panteth for the water,
so my soul thirsteth after Thee,
You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship Thee,
You alone are my strength and shield,
To you alone may my spirit yield;
You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship Thee.
I've read countless times in scripture and just of other people who speak of their great desire for God. Sometimes that's me. Many times it's not and when I read of it I think, "Good for them, but that's just not me right now".
But something hit me when I read this portion of the song.
"You alone are my heart's desire"
This isn't about a feeling, not about what I feel at the moment or how I think I should feel. This is the truth. Always. Whatever I feel like I want or desire at the particular moment, if not already clearly God, it is merely an illusion for what my heart is really trying to reach for. My heart reaches for things to satisfy it but in its truest and deepest sense, it is a yearning for God. I might think I want some other comfort or thing or person or feeling, but it is God that I am desiring. I might not recognize it but that is it.
I know this because he has been the only thing to truly satisfy and comfort and protect.
This is why the offerings of the world leave you finally unsatisfied and wanting. He is the root and source from which all good things stem and we were created with an emptiness only his goodness can fill. There is no need for a search.
I read this on Wednesday while on a bus ride to Ramkhamhaeng 1 University (Ram 1) which is about a 40 minute ride between two separate buses and/or a public van, I live by Ram 2. It's become common to travel out to Ram 1 on Wednesdays to meet up with students we know there to hang out and teach English.
On the way back home a Thai friend road with me. This is the same student whom I had the chance to share my testimony with a few weeks ago. He's not a christian but has been involved with our campus christian club for a couple years. While we were cramped in the van we were taking back he asked me what I was reading, he speaks English rather well. And I got the chance to just talk with him for a little while about the "cries" we have as people. No matter who you are or where you're from, these are things that cross your mind.
This isn't about a "come to Jesus moment" that I had with a Thai student, but it was great to have a good conversation about how Jesus helps me in my life and with the questions I have. It has been great to see him open up through these past few weeks. Christ is moving in peoples' hearts here and I'm so thankful I get to be a part of it all.
On a side note, I thought I'd leave you a little picture of typical nights at the market with some friends :)
